Weary

I've overcome sort of a tiredness lately. I am not phyisically tired, but tired of my life. Months and months of wandering, looking for something without finding it. Wherever i look, there is people. I whonder what kind of life they have got. What problems and worries they carry around day in and day out. Do they really only worry about their bills or iPhone or new fancy dress/shoes/car? I would like to think "no" but then again, i will get disappointed wandering the planet believing that the others are like me. Im looking at wedding pictures of a firend of mine and whondering "does he really love her?" Is it an affectionate, passionate love or just the one "setteled and content" type of love? Is there a difference anyway?

I would like to write about love. Some people seem to never be able to find love. Can it be or is it just because we hunt something that is only existing in our imagination? Are we hunting something that can never exist in real life because we are so convinced that it has to happen the way they show us in the movies and tv soaps? Are we all looking for the love that is unable to sprout in our daily and crazy life full of routine? And then, even when we found somebody we like, the other person might be in a different stage of life right now, searching for something else than love at the moment or searching the love elsewhere but not right infront of them; or the time is just not right for something new for both involved?

Sometimes im whondering how it might be to lead a life without love. Can you possibly walk the planet without it? So many old people in this world that have never been married, die single. That makes me whonder if they had ever been in love throughout their life. I mean back in the old days you would not get involved with somebody unless you were seriously interested. Nowadays its much different here in the western world. Why didn't they die of lonelyness? Can you live on your own for your entire life? Also, we in the western world all base a relationship - NOTE: that is meant to hold for the rest of our lifes - on love which can suddenly fade away

What a strange thing love is. There has to be love in a persons life. No one can survive without it. To be without love is as to be deprived with oxygen, but i can still breath in and breath out altough this air does not nurish me with energy. Im weary, cant take it any longer. What sense does the total freedom have if there is no love?

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